overwhelmed

it's been ages since i last wrote in my blog. and i miss it.
yet again another year has passed. 2014. 23 years old, and still not sure if i had made any difference to the world, or anyone else in particular, with my existence. 23 years old and feeling overwhelmed of what the future has in store.
i'm actually not quite sure whether being overwhelmed is a good or a bad thing. overwhelmed by all the plans, yes they're still plans (self reminder), in store for this year. overwhelmed to start a new phase in my life; finally graduating undergraduate and becoming a new master student. overwhelmed of being happy. sooo overwhelmed that sometime it all just scares me. what am i doing with my life? am i ready? who do i actually think i am? do i deserve this? this life? sometimes questions like these are what bother me the most. questions i can't answer. but then again, uncertainty was never my friend, and i'm not even sure we will ever become acquaintances.
i'm not here to complain, i'm actually quite satisfied and extremely grateful, but i'm scared i'll just ruin it all. i'm capable of self (and sometimes others') destruction, and i don't want that to happen. i'm scared i'll be destructive without even realizing.
hahaha what am i even talking about? so let me rest my case for now, and let this be a reminder for myself. cheers~
oyasumi!

Compliments

Have you ever thought that complimenting someone important in your life is a way to show how grateful you are to have them? Receiving compliments isn't an easy task either, well at least for me, I'd be more comfortable giving them than receiving.  However, sometimes, whether we like it or not, we need to hear a compliment about ourself and we also need to compliment the people we love cause we never know if we'll ever have another chance to do so. Watch this and tell me you don't feel moved? :')

presumptions

Isn't it funny how time works. Sometimes we're so sure that we're ready for something but it just never happens, while in other times we have no clue whats happening but it just does, right in front of our eyes.

I remember always feeling intimidated by the thought of having such a mysterious future. Scared of the thought that i might become a total failure in every single aspect. Not ready to be faced with those questions that will always become other people's expectations. But I guess now I have realised something different. 

"Allah itu sesuai prasangka hambaNya."

God will always meet our presumptions. Meaning if we do have faith in Him, then He will eventually give us what we need, at the right time, at the right place.

I realised that I was feeling scared and intimidated cause I had no control on what will happen in the future. No matter how hard I would plan or try, the last decision is still not mine to make. Why was I scared? Because I wasn't sure there would be "someone" there to catch me when I fall, without realising that He was always there. Always. Waiting for me to ask Him for His help.

Yes, thats what I had forgotten, I forgot to ask. Being such the snob that I am, I forgot the most important aspect in my life.

Sometimes we're so busy denying the things around us that we forget to ask for help. But when we do eventually take the time to do so, there would be no problem unturned nor unsolved.

Allah always has better plans for us, even when we think they aren't. :)

*Just a self reminder to end the night*

1 Ramadhan 1434H

Alhamdulillah, masih diberi kesempatan buat merasakan indahnya bulan Ramadhan. Bulan yang dinanti-nantikan ini akhirnya dateng juga. Baruuuu juga hari pertama tapi Allah sudah langsung membuktikan keagungan-Nya. Mengingatkan agar Dhilla lebih banyak bersyukur. Jauh lebih banyak.

Everything is always given to us at the right time, just when we need it, even though we didn't even expect it. When you depend your life on Him, you will never be disappointed.

Semoga di bulan yang penuh berkah ini amal ibadah kita diterima ya sama Allah swt, amin :')

fabiayyi ala i rabbikuma tukadziban ♥

pelajaran hari ini

Dalam hidup kita akan selalu dihadapi dengan ujian. 

Bentuk ujian dari Allah swt itu ada empat; yang pertama ujian dalam bentuk ketakutan, ujian dalam bentuk kelaparan, ujian dalam bentuk harta benda dan terakhir ujian dalam bentuk jiwa dan raga.

Nah, ujian itu bisa dianalogikan dengan olahraga angkat barbel. Hasilnya akan ada dua; bisa membuat otot kita semakin kuat, atau malah membuat kita cedera. Dan hasil yang kita dapat itu bergantung pada pilihan kita sendiri. Terkadang ada orang yang terus-terusan dikasih ujian yang sama tapi tidak pernah bisa belajar, yang ada malah semakin menjauh dari Allah swt., tapi ada juga orang yang setelah dikasih ujian, dia belajar, berusaha memperbaiki diri, dan mendekatkan diri pada Sang Pencipta.

"Jika hambaKu mendekat kepadaKu sejengkal maka Aku mendekat kepadanya sehasta. Jika ia mendekat kepadaKu sehasta maka Aku mendekat kepadanya sedepa. Jika ia datang kepadaKu dengan berjalan maka Aku datang kepadanya dengan berlari-lari kecil".

(penggalan hadits Bukhari)

Semoga kita termasuk yang bisa terus belajar memperbaiki diri ya. Amin.

:')