Compliments

Have you ever thought that complimenting someone important in your life is a way to show how grateful you are to have them? Receiving compliments isn't an easy task either, well at least for me, I'd be more comfortable giving them than receiving.  However, sometimes, whether we like it or not, we need to hear a compliment about ourself and we also need to compliment the people we love cause we never know if we'll ever have another chance to do so. Watch this and tell me you don't feel moved? :')

pelajaran hari ini

Dalam hidup kita akan selalu dihadapi dengan ujian. 

Bentuk ujian dari Allah swt itu ada empat; yang pertama ujian dalam bentuk ketakutan, ujian dalam bentuk kelaparan, ujian dalam bentuk harta benda dan terakhir ujian dalam bentuk jiwa dan raga.

Nah, ujian itu bisa dianalogikan dengan olahraga angkat barbel. Hasilnya akan ada dua; bisa membuat otot kita semakin kuat, atau malah membuat kita cedera. Dan hasil yang kita dapat itu bergantung pada pilihan kita sendiri. Terkadang ada orang yang terus-terusan dikasih ujian yang sama tapi tidak pernah bisa belajar, yang ada malah semakin menjauh dari Allah swt., tapi ada juga orang yang setelah dikasih ujian, dia belajar, berusaha memperbaiki diri, dan mendekatkan diri pada Sang Pencipta.

"Jika hambaKu mendekat kepadaKu sejengkal maka Aku mendekat kepadanya sehasta. Jika ia mendekat kepadaKu sehasta maka Aku mendekat kepadanya sedepa. Jika ia datang kepadaKu dengan berjalan maka Aku datang kepadanya dengan berlari-lari kecil".

(penggalan hadits Bukhari)

Semoga kita termasuk yang bisa terus belajar memperbaiki diri ya. Amin.

:')

sesuai porsinya

Segala sesuatu harus sesuai porsinya.

Iya, segalanya. Baik itu perasaan yang sedih maupun senang sekalipun, perasaan itu akan terasa "benar" jika memang sesuai dengan porsinya.

Roda kehidupan akan selalu berputar, selalu. Terkadang kita ada di atas, merasakan nikmatnya hidup, atau mungkin tengah diuji ketika menghadapi "kenyataan" pahit kehidupan saat kita berada di bawah. Saat kita terlampau senang, Allah swt. akan selalu menyentil kita, mengingatkan kita agar tak lupa melihat ke bawah. Dan saat kita lagi sedih, atau kesusahan, Allah swt. pun tak pernah lupa memberikan "hadiah-hadiah" tak terduga yang tentunya can light up anyone's day.

Namun, siapa bilang mengendalikan perasaan agar sesuai dengan porsinya itu mudah? Mengendalikan perasaan agar tidak melampaui batas, memangnya bisa? Perasaan kecewa, senang, sedih, berharap, takut, memangnya bisa ya mengendalikannya?
Ingin rasanya menjawab "tidak bisa", tapi sudah pasti bisa, bukan? But no one said it was gonna be easy. Not at all. Saat kita marah, apa sih yang bisa meredamkan amarah tersebut agar tidak meledak-ledak? Ketika sedih, what would be the best way to mend a broken heart? And when we're afraid, how can we remind ourself that there really is still hope? Dan apa yang membuat kita mudah melakukan itu? Mungkin jika saya ditanyai hal tersebut saya akan menjawab, "pasrah sama Yang Maha Pengendali". Tentunya setelah berusaha, berikhtiar; setelah dirasa usaha itu sudah cukup, maka yang terakhir memang hanya berpasrah, berdoa kepada Yang Mengetahui Segalanya.
Saya ingat pernah membicarakan hal ini dengan seseorang yang tidak percaya akan adanya campur tangan Tuhan dalam kehidupan kita, menurut orang tersebut apa yang terjadi dalam hidup kita hanya bergantung pada seberapa besar usaha kita, 「頑張ればできる。」(re: jika kita berusaha kita pasti bisa). Kemudian saya mengatakan 「でも、頑張ればできないの時もあるよ。」 (re: tetapi akan ada juga saat-saat ketika kita sudah berusaha tapi tidak mendapatkan hasil yang kita inginkan). Nah, konsep itulah yang teman saya susah terima. Kenapa? Karena dia tidak bisa menerima kalau ada saat-saat dalam hidup ketika apa yang kita inginkan mungkin bukan apa yang kita butuhkan, dan Tuhan telah menyiapkan jawaban yang lebih baik. Namun tetap saja teman saya yakin apa yang menurutnya terbaik buat dirinya pastilah memang yang terbaik, karena yang paling mengetahui apa yang ia inginkan hanya dirinya sendiri. Tentu saya tidak memaksakan kehendak dan mengakhiri pembicaraan tersebut dengan obrolan lain yang lebih ringan. Ya, meskipun demikian saya memang senang pembicaraan "dalam" semacam ini, it gives me so much prespective.
But now it's time i ask myself, "Apa iya usaha selama ini cukup? Apa iya telah sesuai porsinya, Dhilla?"

Daun yang jatuh tak pernah membenci angin, dia membiarkan dirinya jatuh begitu saja. Tak melawan, mengikhlaskan semuanya.

Bahwa hidup harus menerima, penerimaan yang indah. Bahwa hidup harus mengerti, pengertian yang benar. Bahwa hidup harus memahami, pemahaman yang tulus. Tak peduli lewat apa penerimaan, pengertian, pemahaman itu datang. Tak masalah meski lewat kejadian yang sedih dan menyakitkan. Biarkan dia jatuh sebagaimana mestinya. Biarkan angin merengkuhnya, membawa pergi entah kemana.

--Tere Liye, novel 'Daun yang jatuh tak pernah membenci angin'

Sudah lama sekali rasanya posting-an ini hanya bertengger di draft, dan mungkin sudah saatnya saya publish untuk mengingatkan diri saya sendiri. Maaf bagi yang ikut membaca dan merasa waktunya terbuang percuma, gomenasaaaiii~ :)

Good night!

patience

If someone was to ask me what my weak points would be, i could give you a very long list starting from being shy, clumsy, skeptical to even having messy teeth. But if someone was to ask me what my strong points would be, i'd need a very long time to scribble down a few words, which in the end would probably be less than ten. But i guess the one thing that i'm pretty sure would be on my list is my patience; even though i'm not sure if it could be categorised as a strong point or as a weak one.
I'd admit that i do tolerante many things, which in some cases would have big impacts to myself. But i also realize that with this patience, sometimes people tend to treat me the wrong way. They would treat me differently because they know i would be patient enough to say, "its okay."
Sometimes, it really is okay. Really. But in other times, i'd just like that person to step into my shoes and let them understand for themselves without having to say so.
There's one thing that i think people should know about patience.

Patience doesn't mean waiting around forever. 
Patience doesn't mean waiting for the universe to give you what you deserve.
It means waiting around until your resolution has been reached; until a conclusion can be drawn.

So when someone has lost their patience, it doesn't mean they didn't try, or they didn't want it as bad as you thought, they did. But through their patience they have reached a logical conclusion and decided to move forward.

story telling, speechs, and passion

So it all started a few hours ago when i stumbled into a video a friend of mine shared about the art of story telling. It then made me wander off into a video of Sarah Kay (you just gotta love youtube and their suggestions column; i feel they know me so well, haha). Who is she? Well, i must say she's the first and the best spoken word poet i have ever heard of! The first poem i listen to was called "If I should have a daughter". It was great, and it reminded me of a --maybe something some people called-- passion; that i use to have.

When i was in junior high school and high school i loved entering english speech contests. I joined speech contests, to story telling contests, (normal) debate contests and even a single (not in teams) debate contest; atau kalau kata Ayah dhilla sih "debat kusir" hehe. I didn't win in every contest i entered, but i can say i'm pretty good at it. I liked the winning part but i didn't like it when i was called up to come to the front of the flag ceremony in my junior high school to receive the trophy (it was the school tradition they had). Basically i don't like being the center of attention, but when it came to giving speechs i guess i didn't bother that much and actually enjoyed it.

I remember the first speech contest i entered was back when i was in my first year of junior high. The contest's theme was about animals. I choose to deliver a speech about my pet rabbit that recently died. I loved it; i love the feeling of having butterflies in my tummy as i waited and walked to the podium but then have them all gone once i start to open my mouth, i love the quick and exciting rush i got when i started to talk in front of the audience,  i loved seeing the faces of the audience as they listened to what i had to say. I loved the fact that in contests like these, a nobody like me was listened to. I didn't win anything in that contest, but from there, it started my addiction of entering in more and more contests.
Since then i thought that i had found my passion. Delivering speechs in english, having debates was something i enjoyed doing. I felt that in those times i could really express myself. I felt that i could express myself better when i used english rather than when i used Bahasa Indonesia. I felt i had more control of what i had to say, had more passion in what i was saying. So from there my dream was to go to university majoring in International Relations.
Things changed, dreams changed, I changed. And it turned out that i was destined not to be accepted in the international relations program in the university I wanted. I ended up going to another university majoring something totally different from international relations. The next year I tried the university entrance exam again and got accepted in an international relations program of another university but finally decided not to take it. And now here i am, in TUA, majoring in International Bio-business.

Currently, i might say i'm living my life with no certain passion. Yes, i lost it. :(
I wouldn't say i don't like what I'm studying about now, but i can't say i'm passionate about it either. I feel i'm the total opposite of my brother this way. He has passion, deep passion, for something that most people are against of. He went through all sorts of obstacles (and will be going through much more) to pursue this passion he has. He might have not achieved it yet, but at least he has something that can guide him to where he wants to be in the future. Passion that i just don't have -- yet.
The future is a complete mystery to me. Sometimes it's exciting, but for me, more terrifying.
I know what i like, i know what i enjoy doing, but i guess i just haven't found the passion (again).
Of course i have a goal for life, but a goal and passion is just not the same.

2012

I started writing this blog around 4 years ago at the beginning of January; so it kinda became a tradition for me to write in my blog every new year day. So....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know i say this all the time, but doesn't time just fly past us so fast? And yess, it is scary! However, i want to use this time to reflect on what 2012 has been for me.
2012?
It was a big year for sure! Many new experiences, many many things that i should be more grateful for.
* This year i got a new part time job; learned (and is still learning) many new things from it, and   enjoying it more and more along the way.
* I got to go to Michigan State University for the 12th International Student Summit! Met so many new friends, learned so many new things, opened my eyes on many new perspectives!
* Went to Kyoto and Osaka! Two places i've been wanting to go to for so long!
* Started ABC cooking! I recently signed up for a baking cake and bread class! I've always wanted to do something like this! It's one step closer for me to have my own bakery or cafe of some sort (even though there are still many million more steps to go, hehe)
* Enjoyed many deep conversations, with many people i care about; which some how has made me - a tad bit - wiser.
Many other things that i could never list one by one, but there is one that i think is pretty major that i got this year;
I learned to be more grateful.
It started when one of my best friends gave me this great book for my birthday. The title is "Dream Catcher" by Alanda Kariza. It was as if she knew i needed that book, she gave it to me at the perfect time. In that book there was a section where we had to list the good and bad points of a big decision we have made in the past. A decision that became our turning point. For me it was going to Japan. Leaving my third semester at Bogor Agricultural University majoring in a departement that i really really liked, Resources and Environmental Economics. Leaving my comfort zone. Leaving my family and friends, leaving all the organisations i was involved in at that time, everything. All this time i know i complained a lot, sometimes questioning was the decision i made a right one? But i never took the time to really think. And when i actually did and listed all the bad points and good points of my decision; it turned out i had only 6 bad points and 12 good ones. I stopped at 12 because the book only gave space for 12 points, but if there was room i know i could of listed more than that. It was only until then i realised what a horrible person i have been. How unfair, how selfish i was to not feel grateful of what i had. And now i know that the decision i made wasn't wrong (at all). What i learned is that sometimes you just have to stop questioning everything. Stop worrying and just enjoy it. And most important; be grateful for it. And eventually everything will fall in to place.

Many new dreams and wishes in store for 2013! Can't wait!
I'm hoping this year i can become a better person. I can learn to manage my time better so when 2014 comes i won't regret not using the time i had wisely.
Happy new year, lovely people ♥

hidup

Jadi ceritanya lagi blog walking ke salah satu blog kakak kelas waktu SMA, dan ada seseorang yang komen di postingan kakak itu tentang hidup sebagai berikut...

"hidup itu adalah paradox. antara harap dan cemas. antara berusaha dan pasrah. antara kecintaan dan ketakutan. dalam sebuah samudra possibility yang tidak terbatas."

...dan rasanya setelah baca itu dhilla ga bisa buat ga mengutipnya di blog sendiri (iya, dhilla emang hobby bener mengutip-ngutip hehe). Kebetulan hari ini juga sempat ngobrol sama seorang teman tentang tema yang sama, lagi-lagi tentang hidup. Kita sama-sama pernah berfikiran (dulu, mungkin saat SD) "Kenapa ya Allah kok rasanya ga adil sih, kenapa si B yang ga pernah salat atau bahkan ga percaya sama Allah bisa pinter, sedangkan kita yang rasanya udah belajar mati-matian tapi tetep aja nilai ujiannya jelek (contohnya)."

Saat masih kecil mungkin pola pikir kita masih sederhana, dan naif. Masih memandang segala hal benar-benar kalau bukan hitam ya putih, adil dan tidak adil; tapi semakin kita dewasa kita juga jadi semakin mengerti apa itu arti "ujian hidup". Bukannya Allah ga adil, tapi karena Allah sedang menguji kita. Mana kepikiran saat kecil dulu kalau kita lagi dikasih kebahagiaan sebenarnya kita lagi diberi ujian, kita diuji apakah saat senang kita inget ga sama yang memberi kesenangan itu, kita inget ga untuk bersyukur. Dan mana kepikiran juga sebaliknya kalau kita lagi sakit kita sedang disayang sama Allah. Tapi menurut dhilla pribadi itulah indahnya islam. Kita disadarkan kalau hidup di dunia itu cuman sementara, dan segala hal yang kita lakuin sekarang akan ada balasannya dari Allah di kehidupan berikutnya.

Kebetulan semester ini dhilla ngambil kelas "Food and Culture". Seperti namanya, di kelas itu kita ngebahas tentang hubungan makanan dengan budaya, dan termasuk di dalamnya agama juga. Beberapa minggu yang lalu kita ngebahas tentang agama. Nah, di awal kelas itu sang dosen minta setiap mahasiswa untuk menceritakan apa agama yang kita anut dan apakah makanan memegang peran dalam agama kita itu. Dari sekitar 12 orang di kelas itu yang berasal dari berbagai belahan dunia, cuman dhilla dan seorang cewe dari Jepang yang bisa secara tegas mengatakan apa agama yang kita anut tanpa ada embel-embel "tapi" dibelakangnya. Kebanyakan dari mereka bilang "Orang tua saya menganut agama B, tapi saya tidak menjalaninya." atau "Saya dibesarkan dengan agama A, tapi saat ini saya menjalani hidup dengan memegang prinsip saya sendiri." Dosen dhilla pun mengatakan hal yang serupa tentang agamanya. Menurut beliau dalam waktu 50 tahun yang akan datang mungkin kebanyakan orang akan berfikiran "buat apa memeluk salah satu agama saja, saya akan mengambil yang saya inginkan saja dari setiap agama." Menurut dosen dhilla itu, manusia yang semakin modern tidak akan mau dikekang dengan batasan agama. Saat itu sebenarnya dhilla jelas ga setuju, tapi terlalu malas rasanya buat berargumen karna kelasnya juga uda tinggal beberapa menit lagi. Tapi yang jelas dhilla inget banget saat itu dhilla jadi semakin bersyukur masih diberikan nikmat iman. Bersyukur walaupun orang-orang sekitar dhilla mungkin ga punya pola pikir dengan dasar yang sama, tapi Allah selalu aja punya cara tersendiri buat ngingetin dhilla.

Arti hidup bagi setiap orang udah pasti beda. Kita semua dibesarkan dari keluarga yang berbeda, nilai-nilai hidup yang beda; tujuan, impian, harapan, dan juga kemana akan bergantungnya setiap orang ga akan sama. Mau gimana juga dhilla akan menghargai prinsip-prinsip itu (selama ga mengganggu prinsip-prinsip dhilla sendiri). Berbeda itu bukan selalu berarti jelek. Perbedaan yang ada disekitar dhilla contohnya, malah bikin dhilla semakin banyak belajar, dan *semoga* semakin banyak bersyukur. Punya prinsip sendiri itu emang harus, tapi bukan berarti juga memaksakanya kepada orang lain. :)

PS : mulai sekarang dhilla pengen nyoba nge-blog pakai bahasa Indonesia juga aah! Ga mau sampai bahasa Indonesia yang sudah kacau ini semakin kacau dengan bercampurnya bahasa Inggris yang memburuk dan bahasa Jepang yang cuman setingkat anak TK ini! haha *ketawa miris :')
Oiya, hampir lupa, selamat hari Ibu untuk semua wanita hebat di seluruh Indonesia! We love you! And especially for my amazing mother who has given me so much that I could never ever give anything comparable in return. You mean the world to me! ♥

hisashiburi

久しぶり(re : Hisashiburi) which in Japanese literally means "after a long time".

That word probably best describes how i feel about my blog, I can't believe it has taken me this long to start writing in it again. 2012 is about to end and i have only posted 7 times, even though i do have a handful of drafts, but it doesn't count unless you actually publish them i guess, hehe :p

I have been really, really enjoying the past couple of months to the fullest. Many new exciting experiences, (and even feelings) that seemed to have happen all so sudden but yet will always have a special place in my memories. They were all priceless. Both the good and bad.

After coming back from Indonesia to spend my summer holiday back home, on the 26th of September me and 15 other people set off on a plane to Detroit.  I was lucky enough to get a chance to participate in the 12th International Student Summit (ISS) as one of the chairpersons. Every year TUA (my university) holds this event in our campus (the Setagaya campus) but this year for the very first time the ISS was held outside of Japan and was organised by two universities. This year it was held in Michigan State University in East Lansing.

The first few days were used to plan the whole ISS which will be held from the 30th of September until October the 5th. There were times that it was hard to get everyone on the same page, as for the people that have actually participated in ISS before were less than 10 in the total of the student committee of around 45 people. But everything seemed to fall in place and turn out really great. The 12th ISS was great. I gained so many new experiences, new friends, and of course new knowledge too. I felt so sad when it ended, that week of ISS just didn't seem enough.

The presenters presented so many great ideas. This year's theme was "Students Taking Action in Response to Energy Challenges in the Areas of Food, Agriculture and Environment." As energy issues has became a recent hot topic and will probably still be a hot topic in the future, through this ISS i saw how even though we should be worried, but it also made me realize that we still have a promising future. There are still many passionate people who care and want to make a difference with any small step possible. In the session i was charing, the area of food and community session, one of the topics that i found really interesting was about food miles.

Food miles is the distance the food travels from the farmer's field to the consumer's table; the higher the number of miles, the higher the environmental impact. Of course when we look at it this way we would want to emit as less food miles as possible (make the travel distance of the food as short as possible), however when we do that we are narrowing chances for other countries (mostly developing countries) to try getting better markets abroad. Of course like every other topics, food miles too has it's advantages and disadvantages, but the discussions we had about this topic were very intenses and exciting.

Anyway I could go on and on talking to you about all the exciting things during ISS, but what better way then to show you then through pictures ;)

This is our team; team Japan. These people are amazing and i love each and every one of them ♥

And this is my session group, food and community B2. We're the girls' power team! The one in the middle is Ashley, she was also the chairperson for our session. :)

the famous "Sparty" , the mascot for Michigan State University.

MSU's huge football field. It was such an honor to be able to come up to the VIP box, even the most MSU students themselves haven't been here. And the view was so beautiful, everyone say's Michigan is at it's best in autumn. 

we also got to visit Frankenmuth, Michigan's little German town.

Michigan State Capitol, not only was it pretty outside, but the inside was even better!

During my three weeks there I took pictures and videos up to 19 GB! Everything just had to be cherished, but even so, all those pictures could never be enough for me to relive this priceless experience. Michigan was such a beautiful place with really really friendly people, a place i would love to visit again someday. But til then I hope I can travel to other new and exciting places just as exciting as this one ♥   

Don't forget to keep on living to the fullest guys!

Bye ♥

happiness is simple

Its that time of the year again, just two months away from the month i've been waiting for the most; the best month of the year; Ramadhan! Time really does fly fast, faster than we'll ever realize. I feel all mixed up about how time flies, it gets me all sad, scared, happy and excited at the same time.

Anyway, today i woke up to find such beautiful weather outside, not too hot and still a lot of nice breezy air. Woke up to a ray of sunlight that peeked into my room from the crack between the curtains. I opened the curtain, and then opened my big window and looked up to the bright clear blue sky, and thought 「ああ～ いい天気だね」(such nice weather today). Yes, im happy. Happy for all the great things i have in life, happy for all the things i don't have either. Not knowing  the real reason why i am happy but all i can say is that i truly am happy. Days with beautiful weather like today makes me feel more grateful for how my life ended up, all the things that i have now, things that i have never even dreamed of 5 years ago, but its all real. This morning i had a light chat with my Japaneses room mate, something that was really rare cause shes usually very busy - getting up really early and heading home just to sleep - but i enjoy the short talks we seldom have. It was a great way to start the day. Later on i finished a drama i was watching called 「私が恋愛できない理由」, it had a good ending and that made me happy too. For lunch i went to the school's cafeteria with a friend and ate the usual menu, fried seafood set, today the squid was extra delicious and the cafeteria lady gave us extra kimchi, and yes that made me happy too. Everyone says that happiness is simple, and for me, today was one of those real example of that happy feeling you get out of really simple things. Alhamdulillah. ♥

molten lava cake

helloo~
So the last couple of weeks i had winter holiday (from December 27th - January 6th). On the first week i was mostly at home so i tried baking! I was gonna post this on that day, but i kept on forgetting, so, here it is!☺ 
There are many times when i bake a cake, or muffin, or something else, it doesn't turn out quite as i expected, however even though this batch of molten lava cake weren't perfect either, i want to share the recipe with step by step pictures. It was really easy, and very few ingredients too.

First, you'll need 113 gr of semi sweet cooking chocolate. I didn't have that so i used 2 bars of regular chocolate instead, but one was the dark bitter type. Cut the chocolate so it would melt easier. While doing this, start to pre heat your oven at 180 C.

Next, you'll need 113 gr of butter. Cut the butter into small pieces too and put it in a microwaveable bowl with the chocolate. I was too lazy to melt the chocolate and butter on a stove, so i melted them by putting in the the microwave for 2 minutes.

Now in a separate bowl, crack 2 eggs, add 75 gr of sugar, and whisk them together (i used a mixer) until fluffy.

When you're done, add the melted chocolate and butter to the egg and sugar mix, and stir it until its even (don't use a mixer). After that add 40 gr of all purpose flour and mix until incorporated.

If it's well mixed, put the chocolate mix into ramekins that has been greased with butter. Since i didn't have any ramekins, i used a silicon muffin pan. And now it's ready to go in your oven! Pop it in to the pre-heated oven, set it to 180 C, and bake it for 10 minutes. It's better to just bake it for exactly 10 minutes because if you put it in longer, the lava in the middle might be too cooked. But, if you prefer it that way then it's up to you. :)

sprinkle on some suger powder and enjoy!

Note : as you can see i am no cook, the great cooks that made this recipe can be found on this link. hehe.. and i'm sorry for the bad quality of photos. i guess taking pictures while snowboarding in a snow storm did affect my camera. hehe..

November FUN!

It's been too long since i last wrote in my blog! how have you been? It's gonna be winter soon here in Tokyo, but yet it's getting so cold already! today it was 6 degrees! I do love winter but i still want to enjoy autumn before the real winter starts..hehe

Anyway, i want to tell you about the fun places my friends and I went to last month. Last week, on November the 23rd, me, Edhika, Kidu, Mas Asad, Akira and Luqman went on a picnic! Actually we wanted to do 紅葉狩 (read : momijigari, it's taken from the word momiji which is the name of the Japanese maple tree). Momijigari, or most people just say momiji,  is the Japanese tradition of going to see scenic areas where the leaves in autumn has turn red. Usually people go on a hike to do this, but we were too lazy to go hiking so we had a picnic in a park not too far from where we live. We went to Inokashira Koen (park). Too bad when we went there the leaves weren't all red yet, but still it was very pretty. We brought food to eat too. Edhika made oreo pudding, Akira made chicken burger while i made oreo muffins. We also road the boat, played UNO, and cards! Because we saw a lot of dogs peeing on the ground we decided to spread our sheets and sat down on the stage. While playing cards we were laughing so hard I'm pretty sure almost everyone  was looking, but i guess we didn't really care and actually we're kinda used to it. hehe.. Later that day there was a grandpa that was working there and told us that we weren't allowed to sit on the stage. We didn't really understand why we couldn't sit there because the only writing was that no one was allowed to perform on that stage, but oh well, it didn't really matter because fortunately we were also getting ready to go home so we didn't really feel too bummed out. :)

Here are some pictures from Luqman's handycam.

just imagine how loud we were :p

on Saturday, November 26th, we (Kidu, Edhika, Luqman and I) went to disneyland! yeaaaay~~

It was so much fun, we didn't go on too many rides, probably only 4 or 5 (?) , since it was a weekend so there were so many people but even waiting in line was fun for us, especially when there was a parade near the place we were lining up so we were singing along and taking picture and totally forgot that we were waiting to get on a ride, hehe :)

I must say, disneyland is really like entering your childhood storybook. For me personally, I think I'll never grow too old for it. And even though someday i go there more than 10 times, i won't get bored (but probably become broke!!) hehehe

If you get the chance to go to Tokyo, I'd really recommend going there, it's like a dream come true!

i'd like to share some pictures of us that were also taken by Luqman's handycam.

we're here! 

this is one of the reasons why we had fun waiting :p

bye bye disneyland, thank you for all the fun!

November was really great, I had lots of fun and gained many new experiences too (and no, i'm not talking about the experience from travelling, other things of course, hehe)!
Anyway, how was your November? ;)

hello again!

I'm back from my summer vacation, its been weeks actually, hehe..so much to say but i still don't know where to start..what happened in the past 2 months or so? lots! :) many, many things happened, including changes. yeah, changes, there are times when you want to change but you can't, and in others sometimes the changes happen out of your control weather you like it or not. what changes happened in my life? i'd rather not say specifically, but i can certainly say nothing and no one didn't change, change is a part of our life that we have to face with open hands, hoping it can make us a better and stronger person.

i have a really great quote, its not about change, but i was strong enough to make me melt :
Di saat apapun, barakah itu membawakan kebahagiaan.
Sebuah letup kegembiraan di hati, kelapangan di dada,
kejernihan di akal, dan rasa nikmat di jasad.
Barakah itu memberi suasana lain dan mencurahkan keceriaan musim semi.
Barakah itu membawakan senyum meski air mata menitik-nitik.
Barakah itu menyergapkan rindu di tengah kejengkelan.
Barakah itu menyediakan rengkuhan dan belaian lembut
di saat dada kita sesak oleh masalah. (Salim A. Fillah)

:')

Ramadhan kareem

Alhamdulillah masih dikasih kesempatan sama Allah buat ngerasain indahnya bulan Ramadhan, with a special bonus; this year my first week of ramadhan will be spent in Japan. 

kemarin (hari pertama puasa) uda ada dua ujian yang salah satunya bikin dhilla susah tidur selama berhari-hari, and it turned out i couldn`t do it very well, i needed more time! tapi ya apa mau dikata, berusaha uda, sekarang tinggal berdoa buat hasil terbaik...2 down, 4 more to gooo! yesterday was also the first time i had iftar and did taraweh prayer at Camii Yoyogi Uehara Mosque, Alhamdulillah :)

today, the second day of ramadhan, dhilla pagi-pagi ngejalanin kewajiban "ngejaga" ruang komputer kampus, dan ternyata sepiii, beda banget sama minggu-minggu sebelumnya yang selalu penuh sampe-sampe printer-printernya selalu ngadat semua..post ini juga dhilla tulis selama lagi baito (kerja sambilan), hehe..Alhamdulillah again :)

kalau ditanya tentang kesan dhilla puasa selama hampir 16 jam di negeri sakura ini; my answer would be that this experience made me realize how lucky i have been to be in such a supporting environment in Indonesia, bisa ngejalaninnya bareng keluarga juga, tapi sayangnya, dhilla jadi semakin sadar kalau selama ini dhilla nyia-nyiain apa yang dhilla punya. kalau dirumah mana perlu mikirin mau sahur apa, bangun juga ada yang bangunin, solat juga lebih enak, banyak kesempatan buat berjamaah. here, things aren't the same. when i say it isni't the same, i'm not saying it in a bad way, tapi emang kenyataannya ya beda, disini kita belajar dan dipaksa buat lebih mandiri. ngerasain sahur sendirian (eh ga deng, malah tadi pagi sempet ditemenin gempa beberapa dekit, hehe) semoga ini semua bakalan jadi pengalaman yang suatu hari bisa dijadikan pelajaran.
happy fasting everyone, hopefully this Ramadhan will be a beginning of a brand new start! :)

Allah didn't promise us days without pain, laughter without sorrow and sun without rain, but He did promise us; strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way. :)

 - anonymous 

just beautiful ♥

today was such a lovely day! the weather was great, not too hot and not cold, now that's what i call spring, hehe :}

it was such a great day that after we took the new kouhais to look for a bicycle, we decided to go the park and eat taiyaki!

March 11, 2011

helllooooo out there! ;]

it's been such a long time since i wrote in my blog..i had soooo many drafts but never had the mood to finish them, so here is one of them..

March 11, 2011 to me was like living in a real nightmare. It was the day of the largest earthquake in the history of Japan and the number 4th largest in the world since 1900, the earthquake was 9 SR, and at the same moment a horrible tsunami hit Sendai.

it started out like every other Friday but i wasn't feeling very well since the very moment i woke up. I just remembered that i should get started on making the scrapbook frame me and Edhika wanted to make for Mba Rany so at around 1 pm i went for a bike ride looking for materials to make it. I went to a store in near the Kyodo station and met Mba Rany and Mas asad (yappari, dunia emang sempit,hihi), and after buying the things i needed i rushed back home.

after i arrived i changed my clothes back to my pajamas, sat on the floor and started cutting out pieces of paper for the scrapbook, when all of a sudden i felt the ground shaking, at first i thought my headache was getting worse, but then i saw the glass window shaking, things on my desk have fallen down, and there were girls yelling in the lobby. i went to the lobby and saw my seniors (from other countries) panicking, they told me to come with them and get out of the dorm. i wasn't wearing my veil (hijab) and my dress pajama was only as long as my knees, outside was cold too, but i didn't have time to go back in, the dorm keeper was telling us all to get out, so i went outside in my pajamas and a pair of scissors in my hands (remember, i was cutting a piece of paper before the incidence). we waited outside near the gate of the girls dormitory. everything was shaking and vibrating, even the trees and the cars, everyone was panicking. one of my seniors hugged me. others were crying. "what's happening? what should we do? I don't want to die alone, we're gonna die alone" i heard one of my seniors say. at that moment i thought that it would have been the end for us and there was nothing we could do. but then after what felt like 10 minutes that felt like a life time, the earthquake stopped, and i ran back inside my room and called my mom, then my dad, then my brother, but no one picked up. eventually my mom picked up and i burst in too tears. i was scared because i was alone, none of my Indonesian seniors were in the dorm. my mom listened to me and tried to calm me down. i was really surprised because she didn't even sounded worried, she just told me that it was okay and said that earthquakes happen all the time in Japan. yeah, it was true, this wasn't my first earthquake since i was here, but this one was different, and my mom didn't know how big it was at that time. there was still another chance of another earthquake so after hanging up, i changed my clothes, wore my veil, and not so long after i was done, it came, the other big earthquake. i went outside again and found no one there, it turned out they were all evacuating in the university's gym, and i didn't know because after the first earthquake hit i was the first one to run back in the dorm while the others were still waiting outside. the second earthquake wasn't as long as the first and not as big either, but that was when the tsunami hit Sendai, and the news had spread around the world, and the phone network was disabled so we couldn't communicate. so this was the time my mom panicked and probably everyone else.. fortunately, Mba Rany and Mas Asad came back to the dorm and told me to get ready to evacuate to the University's gym, we went there together with other foreign students and everyone else that were near the university and was there until it was okay to leave.

things didn't get better immediately, earthquakes were happening almost every hour for a few days, food were all sold out everywhere, drinking water too, at least three nuclear reactors suffered explosions due to hydrogen gas that had built up within their outer containment buildings after cooling system failure causing the radiation level to rise, blackouts (which Alhamdulillah didn't happen in my area), transportation systems suffered severe disruptions, what seemed like everyone was trying to leave japan; leaving only about 5 people in Nodai's girls' dorm each night for about 2 weeks..so many things happened, and if i told you every story this post would be waaaaaay too long, but the point is, despite of everything Japan is a really strong country. even though i'm not a Japanese and i have to admit as a foreigner in Japan there are so many times that i feel like a real "alien" but i really do love japan, it's my second home for now, and i'll always be praying for japan. 

musibah ini secara ga langsung ngajarin dla banyak hal, and i'm thankful for that. :) 

perih sesuai porsinya :)

this is just a re-post, i didn't make these words. i found from a really great blogger, and after asking her permission, i'm posting it here!

Itu cara Allah menyampaikan kasih sayang-Nya,

cara-Nya mengungkapkan betapa Ia cinta

bahwa Ia satu-satunya yang tetap ada dan setia

saat berjuta cinta manusia meninggalkanmu

mungkin, Allah pengen nunjukin..

saat manusia begitu mudahnya mengecewakanmu,

Ia tetap ada, setia menantikan sujudmu di 5 waktu hari-harimu

pun ketika kau berulang kali mengecewakan-Nya

Allah pasti menyiapkan yg terbaik untukmu,

yang terjadi hari ini,

adalah bagian dari training cinta-Nya

untuk menjadikanmu selangkah lebih bertaqwa,

insya Allah..

dan masihkah kita perlu menangisi setiap luka,

seandainya Allah gantikan perihnya dengan kenikmatan bertaqarrub pada-Nya?

haruskah kita menangisi kepergian orang-orang yang begitu kita cintai,
seandainya Allah gantikan kepergian mereka dengan keberadaan-Nya di setiap hela nafas kita?

sakit,

memang.

Allah sengaja menyiapkan sakit itu.

karena Ia tau

hamba-Nya menjadi dewasa tidak semata-mata dengan kebahagiaan.

karena dalam hidup, perlu perih sesuai porsinya. (API, 2011)

do you agree? i do :)
so when ever you're sad. don't be. it's just God's way of showing you how much He loves you. ♥

hati, mata, telinga (?)

"diberi jantung, malah minta hati, mata, telinga..."

                                                                                         fufufu,  -___-"

iya, kalau di dalam bahasa Indonesia memang ada peribahasa "diberi jantung minta hati." tapi klo menurut dla ini sih uda bukan minta hati aja. it's just too much. dan bodohnya, i gave it away, even though i know that they don't deserve any of it. what so ever.  

looking back

yeaay, my final exams are finally over! ♪♪(^ε^)

yeah, it's my final exam, that means this March i'm gonna be a sophomore *again* hehe..i just can't believe that i've been here for a whole school year (10months to be exact), it just seems like yesterday i arrived at Narita for the first time; it's still so fresh in my mind how happy Akira (my batch mate) and i were when we heard all the Japanese that were coming out of the airplane  saying "samui ne..*it's cold*" and we were laughing (dengan noraknya kalo diinget-inget lagi sekarang,hehe) because we actually knew what it meant, "samui" were one of the very few Japanese words i knew when i first arrived in Japan. I remember seeing the the cherry blossoms for the first time, and sitting beside Max (my 190cm tall friend) in the entrance ceremony and feeling like a tiny smurf compared to him. I also remember how confused it felt coming in to the University's cafeteria and ordering food from a vending machine, i remember seeing my friend Mook for the first time and thinking she looked like a magazine model, i even remember what clothes i were wearing on that day..all those small things sum up to a great memory for me. a priceless experience of a lifetime :)

looking back in life things can be so unpredictable. one of the things that made me realize this was because of a chat conference i had with my mom last night. all of a sudden my mom told me that sometimes she still can't believe that i'm here in Tokyo far away from her, far away from the family, doing everything by myself without her by my side *most of the times*. siapa yang bakal nyangka kalau dla bakal ketemu keluarga dla paling bagus setaun dua kali, atau paling tidak setaun sekali. and sometimes, to be honest, for me it's kinda hard.
this doesn't just go for me, but for everyone out there; "who ever thought they would be living a life that they are living right now.." no matter how well organized and planned out you had your life in store for you, but still it could never, NEVER, go out according to plan. akan selalu ada rezeki yang tak terduga, pelajaran-pelajaran yang harus dipelajari, secret happiness, and paths that we have to go through whether we like it or not. than again, destiny is what brings you back in place. Allah's decisions. you can deny it all you want, i know i do sometimes, but i know later in the future, we'll understand why we had to do what we had to do.


anywaaay, today i had a girls day out with Mook before she went back to Thailand for the spring holiday. We went to Harajuku and Shibuya. it was so much fun. we went to Kiddy Land and spent so much time looking at all the cute things inside, there was this really cute schedule book that i really really wanted to buy, but i decided destiny to tell me if i had to buy it or not. i'm planning to go there again in the next week; if the schedule book is still there than that book was destined for me and i'm gonna buy it, but if it isn't than i'll just have to buy another one, that is cheaper, hahaha (actually another reason i'm doing this, is because i'm gonna save some of my money first, because for a schedule book it's pretty pricey. hihi) :p

 this is the front of Kiddy Land. look at elmo, he's soo cute! >,<

note to myself : huaa, i can't believe that i'm gonna be a senpai *senior* soon, i don't even know if i'm ready! T^T

2010

2010 was a lot of things to me.

many things that i thought weren't possible happened this year, and most of them were good things (Alhamdulillah).

many big questions in my life were answered this year, and most answers were what i know now is the best i could ever get.

this year i felt feelings that i've never felt before, and i'm grateful for every single one of them.

and most importantly, this year i was shown how much my family really means to me. 

dear 2010,

thank you for giving me people that loved, cared, hurt, worried, left, stayed, and cherished me in their own way, because those people are the reason i am who i am today. ♥

i know a lot is in store for the year 2011, and i'm willing to give it my all.
happy new year everyone, may 2011 become the year when we become a better person for the people we love, people around us, and most importantly; for our selves. :)

daddy's girl

Today i had a little chat with my dad, we didn't talk about anything too serious, we just talked about our day and new things that happened in the past week, he told me how he, my little brother, and my cousin went fishing the other day, he told me that they brought home 15 fishes! Wow, i thought, for someone who went fishing for the first time, they must be really good at it. But, actually it turned out that the fish that they actually caught were only 3, but they bought another 12 just to show off to my mom..hehe, and than it just hit me, im really missed out on a lot of things while i'm here. :(

My dad also told me about a new business he's doing and he apologized for not asking my permission first before he actually did it. i laughed when he said that, i said "dad, it's your money, you don't need my permission :)" and guess what he said in return "no, dear, nothing is my money, it's our money, the family's money."

i have to admit, my dad isn't always the first person i come to when i have a problem, and the one that knows all my stories is my mom not my dad, but my dad too has a very special place that no one else can replace. He's the one i can always count on, he's the one that the whole family can count on no matter what. My dad might not know this, but indirectly i have learned so much from him. He taught me how to give, and to care silently. He taught me to be grateful, and never gets tired of reminding me to be grateful for everything i have in life.

Dad, i know you might not read this, but i just want to say thank you, for everything you are and you gave. thank you, i could never pay you back.

When i was about to leave for japan i made my dad a video, its horrible actually, i didn't have much time to make it, but, this is the video. :)

despite how hard being a dad may be, im lucky to have a dad like my dad, and a loving family like mine, you guys mean the world to me ;)

and someday when i have a husband of my own i hope he'll be as great as my dad ;p